Why does McAfee hate Samba?
When McAfee changed the name of McAfee VirusScanASAP to McAfee ManagedVirusScan the released a software update that changed the name, the logo, added many features, and breaks the ability to mount shares from Samba servers. Turn off "Script Scanning" and things will be ok. Will McAfee ever fix the problem? They won't tell me, so I am left to re-enable that feature now and then to see if the problem returns. Now I have a network of machines that live without protection against Nimba. This must be why so many people tell me "McAfee sucks."
This problem seems to happen only for W2K machines talking to Samba (and possibly only Mac OS X's built-in Samba). The XP machines I use don't have the problem, and no machine that talks with a real Windows File Server (not Samba) has seen the problem.
ManagedVirusScan, for those that don't know, is an interesting product. It is a virus scanner (and now pop-up blocker, Outlook email scanner, and presumably an anti-Samba tool). It installs by either running an .EXE or, more commonly, by going to a particular URL and letting the ActiveX program that gets downloaded do the install for you. The URL is at McAfee, so you don't need a server. The updates are automated (both software updates and signatures) and those updates come from McAfee's server's directly. As the administrator, I am given an account on McAfee's web site which I can log in to see a "dashboard" display of all my machines, query for out-dated machines, and so on.
It's very convenient, especially for small companies. For example, when we found the incompatibility with "script scan" we went to the dashboard, modified our policy to disable that feature, and in 12-24 hours all of our machines had updated themselves. I kept logging into the dashboard to see, over time, machine after machine update themself. Since these machines are 5 timezones away, it was much better than calling the staff there constantly to nag them about doing the updates manually.
I had many problems with McAfee's support. The first Tier-1 engineer I spoke with was not trained beyond "is it plugged in? is it installed correctly?" type of questions. That's fine for home users, but by virtue of the fact that I'm using ManagedVirusScan I should go directly to Tier-2 support. However, to get to Tier-2 support you have to jump through hoops.
Interestingly, when I did jump through the hoops, suddenly the Tier-1 person was able to help me. Do they get punished every time someone successfully makes it to Tier-2, so by clearing their hurdles I scared them into doing their job? Or is this like the Wizard of Oz... Tier-2 doesn't exist, it's just a smoke and light show. Therefore, anyone asking to speak with Tier-2 is told they first have to kill the Wicked Witch of the West, which is impossible. Alas, this Dorothy defeated their ruse and suddenly they had to make other plans. Ah, that's it! Tier-2 doesn't actually exist!
Seriously though... the hurdle was that I had to collect specific data from the machine when the problem occurred. No so bad. However, once I got the data to that person he disappeared. I called in to ask for status of my ticket and got someone else on the line. She re-asked me all the questions that were already recorded in the ticket (how annoying). She then said that it would take a while to analyze the data I had sent and she would call me back. I told her that I wanted it analyzed while I was on the phone (my thinking was that the next time I called in to check status I'd be talking to a third engineer, and the entire process would start again.) At this point I would think that she would say, "Oh, someone from Tier-2 will have to analyze the data." but amazingly enough, she didn't. Suddenly she could find the problem in the knowledge base. Ah ha! Further proof that Tier-2 doesn't exist!
In customer support class that I teach I recommend a well-defined "escalation procedure" and I was very impressed that McAfee had one. However, I think it has backfired. The first engineer I spoke with was lazy and seems to use the escalation procedure to simply get out of doing any work. He has realized that he can either work to get the customer's question answered, or do what it takes to get them to qualify for Tier-2. The latter is easier. He's got a good thing goin' on.
The McAfee phone wait time was terrible. Each time I called McAfee I followed the "phone menu" to the best of my ability, waiting 45 minutes or more in the queue, and then was told that I was in the wrong queue and was put on hold for another 30 minutes. Oddly enough, I had to go through this every time. I'm a relatively smart guy but I couldn't figure out what buttons I should be pressing to get into the right queue. I think they actually have the first queue there just to "protect" people in the second queue. If enough people hang up out of frustration. "It takes months to find a customer, but only seconds to lose one... the good news is that we should run out of them in no time."
I had a number of important meetings the days I was debugging this, but I couldn't leave the phone (if I hung up, I'd have to go to the end of the queue when I dialed back in). Therefore, I was in this comical situation of leaving my phone on "speaker" loud enough so that I could hear it from my meetings. When I'd hear the engineer yelling, "hello? hello?" I would run down the hall to grab the phone. I felt like Lucy in the chocolate factory episode. I'm sure everyone in my hallway enjoyed listening to McAfee's hold music, separated by interruptions of their reminder, "Did you know many common problems can be fixed by reading the f'ing manual or updating your damn software?" (paraphrased)
So while I spent 3 days trying to get an answer out of McAfee, my staff was replacing McAfee with the "free" version of a competing vendor's scanner. McAfee should pay attention to that. In hind-sight, it would have been easier to switch away from McAfee than to get this problem solved. The one thing that kept me staying with McAfee is that as a hosted solution and I'm short on staff. That dashboard becomes very valuable to me, as a manager. Sure, other solutions have a dashboard, but it runs on my server, not theirs. That means I have yet another server to maintain. It also means that PCs outside our firewall wouldn't have access to updates.
If Dilbert's worked at McAfee, I fear his boss would read this article and say, "Hey, the proof is in the pudding! They didn't leave us for the competing product therefore this isn't a problem!" I once worked for a CEO that thought like that. That company isn't in business any more.
If anyone from McAfee is reading this, I'd love to talk with them directly.
Vendors never call back. Accept it.
Follow-through doesn't just mean tracking issues. Follow-through is about results. A co-worker of mine couldn't understand why his boss was unhappy with his performance when a project was delayed because a vendor hadn't returned a call placed two weeks ago. It wasn't his fault that the vendor hadn't called back, right?
There's actually a magic question you can ask to assure the vendor is following through.
Vendors depend on satisfied customers so they are motivated to call you back, right? That's not how the world works: You can't assume that a vendor will call back. You have to take responsibility for a project's timely completion:
- Call them once a day until you connect. Call every day. Don't wait for them to take the intiative.
- Call them early in the morning. If you reach them early in the day, they can spend the rest of the day working their bureaucracy to get you the answer or results you need. If you call them at the end of the day, then your request gets forgotten by morning.
- Log that you've called them in your PDA/PAA.
- Always leave voicemail. Without leaving a message, it's the same as not calling. You need to leave physical (or virtual) proof that you called. You don't have to be original each time. Simply say, "This is [Your name here]. Please call me at [your phone number]. I need [status update | whatever] about [project]. Thank you."
Another tip: The order isn't "in" until they can tell me a shipper's tracking number and/or delivery date.
I've been stung many times by vendors that were late to ship something. "Oh, I'd been sitting on this order for a week because there was a form you need to fax me." Why didn't you tell me? Don't these people work on commission? Have they found some magical business model that not shipping a product makes them money?
The wrong question to ask, and I know this because I used it unsuccessfully for years, is "Do you need anything else from me?" Silly me. I thought that a highly motivated salesperson would take this opportunity to finish the deal so he could get commission. The problem is that people don't want to feel that they are making work you so they think they are being polite by answering "no" to this question. After being told there was nothing more for me to do, many times I've called back a week later only to find out there is some credit approval issue, or design sign-off, or contract to be signed, and so on.
Therefore when it seems like everything is done, I ask the magic question: "Can you tell me what date it will arrive?" Suddenly it clicks in the salesperson's brain to tell me that the product isn't available until next spring, or that while I've filled out the credit application, he hasn't submitted it to their finance department. (These are all real examples).
Once I get a delivery date, the question changes to, "Can you give me a tracking number?" That's the real proof that the order hasn't hit any snags. For important projects I call every day until I receive a tracking number: Always in the morning. Always leaving a polite message if I receive someone's voicemail box.
Any human-factors people out there?
If anyone (especially anyone at Apple or Thunderbird) is studying human factors on email readers, would they please contact me?
Thanks!
Musical Banner Pages
My cell phone has different rings for different people, and specific rings for "person not in address book" and "caller id is blocked."
What if I could upload MP3s to printers which would play different songs based on what was being printed?
- Play an old-tyme ragtime song when plain ASCII was printed
- Print a slow, limbering, elephant-like, song when someone prints something with lots of graphics
- A series of songs could play as the printer starts running out of paper: Meet Me Half Way when the paper tray is half empty, Is That All There Is when it runs out, and so on.
- And of course, be able to set your own personal MP3 for your printouts so you can hear when they are done.
Why hasn't anyone thought of this before?
An idea for the sequel to "Office Space"
Office Space is a "must see" movie for any IT worker. It's one of my favorite films.
I doubt anyone is working on a sequel, but if they are, they can use my suggestion for free:
After the events of the last movie, he finds himself in the position of being screwed over by a company with really bad customer service. How does he get revenge? He gets hired into the biggest make-or-break project at the company and screws it up. Though some comical device he finds himself in charge of the project and begins a campaign of telling management they're on or ahead of schedule, meanwhile letting his team do no work. They spend a lot of time making impressive demos but no real project work gets completed. In the big finale, he reveals that it's all been a hoax at the big press conference set up to make the big announcement. The company goes out of business. Justice is served.
What do you think?
