It turns out bacteria are big users of IRC.
All bacteria hang out on two IRC channels. First, all bacteria hang out on #HO+OH+O+O. Second, each species of bacteria has their own, private, channel that only bacteria of that kind hang out on (#species-NAME).
If you aren't sure if two bacteria cells are the same species, do a /whois and see which 2 channels it is on. When a bacteria species has evolved enough to be different than their their parent species, they start using a different species-specific channel.
Now that we know this, it is easier to classify bacteria.
And if you don't believe me, watch this TED.COM talk by Bonnie Bassler of Princeton University.
